Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
