my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
