i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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