The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
