Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You are the jesus of drinking
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
