last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
