we're chasing vodka with high fives
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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