I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
