if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
