apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
