I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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