You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
