well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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