i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I would ride that face into the sunset
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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