he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
