Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
