Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
