smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
