Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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