I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
