Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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