wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
