PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
