I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it was like eating out sand paper
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
