just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
