haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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