Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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