I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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