So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
