I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
