when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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