i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You were trust falling into bushes
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
