his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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