Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do you still have your period?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
