The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The air was thick with penises
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
