There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
