She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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