i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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