I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
