how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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