I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
