you traded sex for a burrito?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
