I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she told me i tasted like america
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
