my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we made out on top of his cat.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
