im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
