I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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