he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
