It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
