My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
