So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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