people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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